Category: Soulful reflections

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Don’t put off until tomorrow what you could do today.

Point to ponder: Procrastination is habitual for some, unheard of for others. We can find any excuse to put something off or avoid it altogether. Or we can look for every reason to make it happen. To which side of the scale do you tip?

Soulful reflection: Reality is, unless we are extreme Type A personalities, most of us fall somewhere in the middle, depending on the day. I think it is important to develop a strong relationship with ourselves, so we are attuned to our strengths and weaknesses, allowing us to live honestly and ensure we are holding ourselves accountable where it counts.

This past weekend found me with some less than pleasurable physical roadblocks that I could have easily given into. Living with autoimmune conditions can be debilitating at times, and some of us consider ourselves warriors – and others, sufferers. Fact is, we’re all warriors because it is not an easy plight and each person’s pain is different. It’s exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally at times.

But I pushed through. I had things I wanted to get done and I wasn’t about to let anything get in my way. Family and friends sometimes give me a hard time when I do this, but I’ve learned to know the difference between when I need to give in or cut my losses, and when I can forge forward. And this week, I am beyond elated that I pushed through.

Sometimes our spirits need the lift that only overcoming obstacles through perseverance can deliver. Sometimes we need to prove that we are stronger than we may feel at times. And sometimes we don’t want to put off until tomorrow what can be done today.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring so if nothing else – make today count in every way you can.

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: As sad as it may be, sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain people we called friends – are friends no more.

Point to ponder: Though we never give up on friends, sometimes we need to step away. Sometimes we need to evaluate if someone is still a friend – that person we could see in five years, despite no communication, and still feel close to and share a connection, as if no time had passed. Or, if we are holding on to something that has long since died, not publicly declaring an ending.

Soulful reflection: I have both. Friends I know are friends no more, and friends that I would call tomorrow, despite how much time has passed, who I trust would be there in a heartbeat.

But how long do we ‘friend’ people who don’t reciprocate our friendship? How many years do we put forth love, kindness and care – when they don’t return it?

Know when to say when. Frankly, I’m in that stage of life when I’m packing carefully who is growing with me through the years, and who I am leaving behind.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll still be there for you, no matter what, no matter what time of day or night. Even though that may mean nothing to you after your needs are met. I’ve experienced that one too many times, but as my mother reminded me tonight, I can feel proud in my friendship status and offerings. I’ve been a friend, even when many have not. Maybe they don’t have it to give. That’s ok.

But don’t be surprised when I fade into the sunset in the future. When the birthday card and wishes or text messages stop. I’m tired. And I’m moving on from you. The you who isn’t present in my life.

What does friendship mean to you?

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Many feel their lives are not complete until they fall in love, or find the one. No matter how full someone’s life is, s/he feels a void without a romantic partner.

Point to ponder: Why is it important to have a romantic partner? Why is it that we disregard the various types of love that surround us, putting so much emphasis on finding a soulmate?

Soulful reflection: Love is what makes the world go round – but it doesn’t center around the Romeo and Juliet, Officer and a Gentleman or Dirty Dancing kind of love. Yet, we often feel as though it does, investing countless amounts of time trying to find love, falling in love, staying in love, or falling out of love and healing.

Others can fuel that desire by constantly asking, ‘So how’s your love life?, Are you seeing anyone?’ Usually that’s question number two or three, which makes it feel like a high priority and that you are certainly missing out on something if you are a single person. Then the gossip, or false beliefs: ‘She must be too picky.’, ‘Nothing ever works out for him.’, ‘She has such bad luck.’, and so on. Continue reading “Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.”

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: So often we use more words than necessary. Either in conversation or emails, personally or professionally, we flavor our communications with a lot of filler words.

Point to ponder: Do you catch yourself doing this? Or do you not even realize that you do? Next time you write an email or have a conversation, make a mental note. Ask yourself if everything you are about to write, or say, needs to be said? For example, “I was going to send that to you yesterday, but the day got away from me and I was really busy.” Why not, “Thank you for reaching back out. Your information is attached.”

Soulful reflection: We find the need to explain ourselves in excess at times, and more often than not. We feel that we need to explain why we have to say no. We feel that we need to write a novel as to why we need to cancel or postpone plans.

I’ve paid attention to that this year, especially when it comes to work communications. Before I write, or sometimes after when I re-read it and reflect for a moment, I put thought into is it pertinent? Is it necessary? Is it with good intention?

Personally, when I have needed to cancel or reschedule something, I’ve toned down my details. Do they really need to have a play by play of why I am unable to go? Do I need to overexplain and if I feel that I do, why? Do I feel guilty for needing to take care of something else or because I just can’t make it due to ill health or the such? I’ve learned that to say, “Unfortunately, I need to postpone this evening. Something has come up and I will be in touch soon.”, can be enough.

It’s not easy. I think it’s human nature, for most, to want to explain and give reasons, or make excuses.

I struggle with this when telling a story. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I’m always setting the stage – the who, what, when, where, how and why. By them time I get to the point, I’ve forgotten what in the heck I was even talking about. I’m working on it, but it’s not easy.

Even as I review this – way too many words! Here’s to putting more thought into what we say, and what we don’t say.

For the one who tried tirelessly to make it work.

You’re exhausted, aren’t you?

Sometimes we need to let go, and that’s not easy.

We need to remind ourselves, when we travel down memory lane, that we made every effort and acknowledge the fact that if the other person cared, s/he would be reaching out.

But they’re not. And maybe they can’t, or won’t, because they wanted it to end – yet didn’t have the courage to own up to that.

So stop beating yourself up. Stop wishing and praying. And see things as they are.

It won’t be easy, but each time you want and wish remember – if they wanted to be with you, they’d be here. Simple as that.

Accept, let go, and move on. You deserve to be free, and find contentment.

The lonely hearts club.

Writing for a number of online publications, one in particular that scores pieces based on hearts, shares, and comments, I’d noticed that my articles on gratitude, self-development and life in general didn’t rate that high.

Thankfully, scoring has never mattered to me. I didn’t even know that was the case when I penned my first piece – until I won first place on the Ecosystem with an unexpected monetary payout, a wonderful surprise that absolutely felt terrific.

Continue reading “The lonely hearts club.”

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Sometimes we find it difficult, if not near impossible to receive. We may be good at giving, yet struggle to open  ourselves up to the generosity and kindness of others.

Point to ponder: Why do we find it hard to receive? Why is it easy for some of us to willingly and effortlessly give, yet feel awkward when we are on the receiving end? Why do we struggle with what to say, how to respond and in opening ourselves up to receive those gifts?

Soulful reflection: Someone close to me recently received a lovely offer from someone, yet didn’t know how to respond. It was uncomfortable and there was an apprehension around crafting an appropriate response. For me, responding is easy, however, being on the receiving end is not. I love to give, yet struggle with receiving – but I am learning and have put specific mental checkpoints in place to ensure I remove myself from the offer – and step into the other person’s shoes.

When you’re a giver by nature, the universe almost seems to consistently throw takers your way. It’s like magnets to steel. And wow, those takers have no problem being on the receiving end. They can take and take until the giver has nothing left mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically. It’s exhausting and can deplete one’s soul. Yet givers can’t seem to stop, even when they try. It’s who they are, how they’re wired – and it’s a beautiful thing.

If you’re a giver who has trouble receiving, stop and check-in with yourself. Do you hear yourself saying the following consistently: “Thank you, but you don’t have to.”, “I don’t want you to go through the trouble.”, “You shouldn’t have.” “No, but thank you.”, or “I don’t want to put you out.”?  Did you ever step into the shoes of the other person, that person like you, who derives pleasure and happiness from helping others? The one who selflessly gives of him or herself because they want to, expecting nothing in return? Take a moment and do that, then you might be able to better receive the gifts others have to give. And by gifts, it’s not only the tangible. It is the gift of time. The gift of a generous spirit, a helping hand and a listening ear. It’s the gift of love and friendship.

When people want to do something nice for you and you feel the need to say no or take over, it will most likely hurt their feelings and make them uncomfortable. There should be a balance – a give and take, for all of the givers out there. Don’t worry about becoming a taker. It won’t happen. It’s not in you. But you can become a person who can willingly surrender to receiving from others, accepting the love and care they have to offer.

Can you imagine what a beautiful world this could be?

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: When we ask for honesty, we desire and expect to get the truth. It’s what we are seeking.

Point to ponder: Why do we find it so hard to be honest, even when we are constantly asking for it? Why do we fear hurting someone’s feelings and dancing around the honest answer when that is what they asked us for?

Soulful reflection: Honesty. It is the most sought after ask in life. Honesty from others, and honesty with ourselves. Yet we often shy away from it when asked for an ‘honest opinion’. We fear hurting someone or upsetting them. And sometimes – that does happen. You’re asked to be truthful then someone lashes out at you, or becomes defensive, when you are.

It’s a pet peeve of mine. When I ask you to be honest with me, I sincerely and willingly want you to be honest with me. I want to hear the hard truth, even if I don’t like it. I ask because I value you and seek your opinion. I want your input. I want to learn, grow and improve.

With those we love, family and friends, we owe them the truth. And we can deliver it with tact, kindness and diplomacy. We can be honest, and phrase it in a manner that truly helps them. As long as we are sincere and gentle with our thoughts and opinions, honesty should be easy.