Daily thought: Many feel their lives are not complete until they fall in love, or find the one. No matter how full someone’s life is, s/he feels a void without a romantic partner.
Point to ponder: Why is it important to have a romantic partner? Why is it that we disregard the various types of love that surround us, putting so much emphasis on finding a soulmate?
Soulful reflection: Love is what makes the world go round – but it doesn’t center around the Romeo and Juliet, Officer and a Gentleman or Dirty Dancing kind of love. Yet, we often feel as though it does, investing countless amounts of time trying to find love, falling in love, staying in love, or falling out of love and healing.
Others can fuel that desire by constantly asking, ‘So how’s your love life?, Are you seeing anyone?’ Usually that’s question number two or three, which makes it feel like a high priority and that you are certainly missing out on something if you are a single person. Then the gossip, or false beliefs: ‘She must be too picky.’, ‘Nothing ever works out for him.’, ‘She has such bad luck.’, and so on.
The reality is when we invest the time in getting to know ourselves and pursuing our passions, romantic love becomes a nice to have – not a must have. We recognize the love that is in our lives – the love of family, friends and of course, the unconditional love from our pets. We find meaning and value in the most casual of relationships, those with colleagues, neighbors and acquaintances. We feel the wealth of connection.
There are so many ways to express our love, from the small acts of kindness we do each day to caring for others – all others. We can throw ourselves into work, community service, hobbies and passions. And because we are unpartnered, it gives us more time to devote to those pursuits.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m great at being alone and know what it’s like to live without romantic love for extended periods of time – more time, than not. I know how good I am at being alone, and I’m not afraid of it, like some are.
The greatest takeaway from my last relationship was that, after many years in solitude, I am ready to share with life with someone, to grow young with that person over the years, and have a solid and trusted companion who has like values and beliefs. I do miss being in that relationship; the closeness, familiarity and special times that were shared, the thought that I had one person who had my back, no matter what – even though that turned out not to be the case. But it’s not any relationship I want, and I’m sometimes convinced that I don’t ever want to love in that way again, right now. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that I have the fortitude to open my heart in that way again or the desire to ever date again. Well, that’s a conundrum, right?! But I am satisfied, fulfilled and happy with the life I have. I feel loved by family and friends, and connected in so many ways. I’m at peace, and content. It’s a lovely feeling.
If you are desperately looking for love, or pining your waking hours away wishing that you had someone special in your life, take a moment and ask yourself why. Then look at how much time you are losing by not living your life, by not living more – and dwelling less. An active life can quiet the mind, and still the heart. Get busy, get active, volunteer and do for others. Feel the love that does surround you, and most importantly, feel the love inside yourself. Make the best of your singleness and I trust that what is meant to be, will find it’s way to you.