Everything in moderation, including moderation because – life’s short.

Those who know me are well aware that my definition of socializing is chatting with friendly people when running errands. People tend to talk to me and I am not shy when it comes to engaging, or initiating if there is something that deems conversation worthy. Visit a few stores, talk with some pleasant folks then it certainly qualifies as an official night out!

Waiting in the supermarket checkout line, I inched forward in an attempt to get what I referred to as the ‘thing-a-majiggy’ and the lady ahead of me knew exactly what I meant – the ‘whatcha-ma-call-it.’ The artfully decorated cake in my basket led to chatter about life’s celebrations and I proclaimed that any occasion was an occasion for cake to which she responded, ‘But after dinner, of course.’ Absolutely not 100% of the time!

Sometimes it’s before dinner – and sometimes, it is dinner. We may sneak a piece during the day or sliver a slice as a snack. We may even cut some for breakfast, followed by our multi-vitamin because surely our decisions aren’t necessarily nutritious or healthy ones – but those decisions are ours to make. We are grown-ups. We’ve earned the privilege of tossing some rules right out the window, and I can think of many.

Life is short. We should moderate everything, including moderation. We say it. We buy signs that proclaim it. We tout the message, yet rarely do we live it.

We find ourselves bogged down by the can nots and should nots. We are plagued by potential guilt and shame. We get so caught up in these things that they become life itself – and that takes up way too much mental space and stands in the way of what? Enjoying our lives!!

I’m the queen of it, so no preaching here. Maybe I’m nudging myself because I say it, buy the signs, and tout the message – but sometimes I forget and lose too much time restricting myself, judging myself, and not living in the way I believe every one of us should be – and we can’t get that time back. It’s gone, forever.

Yes, there are things we need to improve upon. There are habits to be broken. There is a need for some control and restraint so that we don’t become selfish, reckless hedonists. We need to honor our conscience, yet respect our true selves.

But we can have cake before dinner. Not every day, but some days – and we should let go of certain rules that actually hinder the joy of living rather than celebrate our very existence.

Reframe your thinking and start living today.

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: There are a lot of friendly, helpful and decent people in this world. We seem to lose sight of that when we isolate at home or, spend most of our time listening to the media and following drama filled social posts.

Point to ponder: COVID forced many, or most of us, to stay home for an unforeseen length of time. When life started returning to the pre-pandemic way, some of us found a new normal that we aren’t so interested in letting go of. But when we do get out and interact, we are reminded how healthy and good it is to encounter people – the friendly, helpful and decent ones.

Soulful reflection: (Disclaimer: This probably only applies to my fellow introverts).

My pre-pandemic schedule was crazy. It was non-stop between work, socializing and activities. I rarely kept food in the fridge, didn’t have one plant nor could I have imagined wanting it any other way. Funny thing is, it took COVID to make me realize that wasn’t the life I wanted – or, needed. But I had no idea at that time.

Today, my life is back to the steady rhythm of busy, yet drums to a different beat. My life is full of what I once referred to as my soul work – writing, baking, creating, volunteering – but void of excess running around and what I’ve found to be superficial socialization.

I was the queen of delivery, everything right down to groceries. I now find myself getting back out, doing the errands and participating again in some day to day activities. Funny, I unknowingly missed this. It was a reminder that there are kind and happy people we encounter (jerks, too, as always, because a lot of them exist); a reminder that there is a whole world outside my door that it seems I’d kind of forgotten about. As an introverted extrovert, it can be easy to fall into my solitary ways.

But a trip to Market Basket, the drugstore and other places – something I’d always enjoyed – can be enjoyable and uplifting. A bit of idle chit chat and some shared smiles can shift one’s perspective and brighten the day, even if you think it won’t. There’s a lot of good out there surrounding us in these tumultuous times. Get out and see for yourself.

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Many feel their lives are not complete until they fall in love, or find the one. No matter how full someone’s life is, s/he feels a void without a romantic partner.

Point to ponder: Why is it important to have a romantic partner? Why is it that we disregard the various types of love that surround us, putting so much emphasis on finding a soulmate?

Soulful reflection: Love is what makes the world go round – but it doesn’t center around the Romeo and Juliet, Officer and a Gentleman or Dirty Dancing kind of love. Yet, we often feel as though it does, investing countless amounts of time trying to find love, falling in love, staying in love, or falling out of love and healing.

Others can fuel that desire by constantly asking, ‘So how’s your love life?, Are you seeing anyone?’ Usually that’s question number two or three, which makes it feel like a high priority and that you are certainly missing out on something if you are a single person. Then the gossip, or false beliefs: ‘She must be too picky.’, ‘Nothing ever works out for him.’, ‘She has such bad luck.’, and so on. Continue reading “Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.”

The magic of spontaneity.

I went to a movie tonight.

You’re probably saying, big deal. Who cares? People go to the movies all the time, and you’re right.

But not me. I hadn’t been to a movie since 2010, the year bed bugs were becoming a national issue. No joke (my last movie outing, not the bed bug epidemic which was also, no joke).

The last movie I went to, in a cinema, was The Town, in Framingham, Massachusetts. And like tonight, the memorable correlation was spontaneity. Again I’d not been to a movie in ages, worked too much and didn’t think about such recreational pleasures.

Continue reading “The magic of spontaneity.”

Quote of the day.

My forever friend, Barbara, life is not the same without you. I keep waiting for you to text, call, come back. Still haven’t figured out how to live without you.

“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we deeply love becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller

The quote of the day is you. Happy birthday. We will always celebrate you. Each and every day. Forever.

Peace of mind.

As we get older, it can often feel like we’re always tired. It’s actually more than tired. It’s exhausted. Deeply fatigued, like we don’t have the energy to take the next step, never mind get through the day.

We eat better and exercise. We get more rest. We can’t figure out why our blood work comes back fine because surely, something must be wrong. Maybe a vitamin deficiency or low iron. An infection. Something we can fix. But not the case. Nothing is wrong.

Yet if we get wiser, we look beyond better nutrition and working out. We look beyond simplifying our schedule and getting more rest. We look at our mental and emotional health. Our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Our relationships – with ourselves and others. Our overall approach to life and what’s important to us, or what’s no longer bringing value to our interior world.

Continue reading “Peace of mind.”