From the Desk of Pennwell Gray
Daily thoughts. Points to ponder. Soulful reflections. The Musings of E.M. Murphy.
As I close in on 2 am, exhausted yet satisfied with tonight’s accomplishments, I recalled a countless number of folks who dismissed homemade gifts over my accumulative years of life.
The candied pecans, Christmas cookies, or crocheted crafts. A patchwork quilt, knitted sweater, or embroidered wall art.
Continue reading “The blood, sweat, and tears of homemade gifts.”Daily thought: A relationship is like a plant. If you don’t water and tend to it, it will die but with a some TLC, it can also come back to life.
Point to ponder: Do you take a partner for granted? Do you think once you charm someone into a relationship, you just stop the things you did to woo them? Or simply go back to your life as a single person, throwing them a crumb or two to keep them hanging in?
Soulful reflection: I recall vividly one of many conversations with my partner when we were faced with relationship challenges and my sharing that above daily thought with him. Some of us don’t even need much water or TLC, but the complete lack thereof leaves us to wither, wilt and eventually – die, like the plant.
Ironically, I wasn’t into plants or herbs at that time. I knew the responsibility and consistent care they would require, and I was once too free spirited for such commitment. Yet now I have them, and I witnessed my analogy right here in real time – and had to smile, a bittersweet yet comforting and knowing smile.
I arrived home last night to a wilted and dead-looking basil plant because I’d stayed at my parents home unexpectedly the evening before, thus missed the ritualistic morning watering. How heartbroken I was! In the past, I would have thrown it out. It’s dead. It doesn’t look so good anymore. What’s done is done. But I’m obsessed with my plants and was willing and determined to bring it back to life. It’s a commitment, a choice I make every day to nurture and grow them, not giving up on them because of some dead-looking leaves.
This morning, that basil plant looked like brand new. It was standing tall, robust and healthy in appearance.
If only we would do the same in our relationships. Of course some have to be thrown in the trash, but others – simply need some water, weeding and care enough to repair and flourish over time.
Some throw things away with too easily. Some aren’t willing to put a little work in when things get bumpy. Some just aren’t capable, so they should live plant-free.
But if you are capable, be sure to water where you stand today because the grass is only as green as the one you tend to.
Daily thought: As sad as it may be, sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain people we called friends – are friends no more.
Point to ponder: Though we never give up on friends, sometimes we need to step away. Sometimes we need to evaluate if someone is still a friend – that person we could see in five years, despite no communication, and still feel close to and share a connection, as if no time had passed. Or, if we are holding on to something that has long since died, not publicly declaring an ending.
Soulful reflection: I have both. Friends I know are friends no more, and friends that I would call tomorrow, despite how much time has passed, who I trust would be there in a heartbeat.
But how long do we ‘friend’ people who don’t reciprocate our friendship? How many years do we put forth love, kindness and care – when they don’t return it?
Know when to say when. Frankly, I’m in that stage of life when I’m packing carefully who is growing with me through the years, and who I am leaving behind.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ll still be there for you, no matter what, no matter what time of day or night. Even though that may mean nothing to you after your needs are met. I’ve experienced that one too many times, but as my mother reminded me tonight, I can feel proud in my friendship status and offerings. I’ve been a friend, even when many have not. Maybe they don’t have it to give. That’s ok.
But don’t be surprised when I fade into the sunset in the future. When the birthday card and wishes or text messages stop. I’m tired. And I’m moving on from you. The you who isn’t present in my life.
What does friendship mean to you?
“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours.” – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
There is no greater joy than bringing happiness to another.
So many people are lonely and crave human contact, especially during COVID-19.
Listen closely and be attuned to the people who surround you. There are many safe ways to connect – and share time with those we like, love or choose to care for.
Be a blessing and be there for others in this crazy world. The joy you will be filled with is priceless and it is – or should be – what living is all about.
