Category: Points to ponder

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Many feel their lives are not complete until they fall in love, or find the one. No matter how full someone’s life is, s/he feels a void without a romantic partner.

Point to ponder: Why is it important to have a romantic partner? Why is it that we disregard the various types of love that surround us, putting so much emphasis on finding a soulmate?

Soulful reflection: Love is what makes the world go round – but it doesn’t center around the Romeo and Juliet, Officer and a Gentleman or Dirty Dancing kind of love. Yet, we often feel as though it does, investing countless amounts of time trying to find love, falling in love, staying in love, or falling out of love and healing.

Others can fuel that desire by constantly asking, ‘So how’s your love life?, Are you seeing anyone?’ Usually that’s question number two or three, which makes it feel like a high priority and that you are certainly missing out on something if you are a single person. Then the gossip, or false beliefs: ‘She must be too picky.’, ‘Nothing ever works out for him.’, ‘She has such bad luck.’, and so on. Continue reading “Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.”

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: So often we use more words than necessary. Either in conversation or emails, personally or professionally, we flavor our communications with a lot of filler words.

Point to ponder: Do you catch yourself doing this? Or do you not even realize that you do? Next time you write an email or have a conversation, make a mental note. Ask yourself if everything you are about to write, or say, needs to be said? For example, “I was going to send that to you yesterday, but the day got away from me and I was really busy.” Why not, “Thank you for reaching back out. Your information is attached.”

Soulful reflection: We find the need to explain ourselves in excess at times, and more often than not. We feel that we need to explain why we have to say no. We feel that we need to write a novel as to why we need to cancel or postpone plans.

I’ve paid attention to that this year, especially when it comes to work communications. Before I write, or sometimes after when I re-read it and reflect for a moment, I put thought into is it pertinent? Is it necessary? Is it with good intention?

Personally, when I have needed to cancel or reschedule something, I’ve toned down my details. Do they really need to have a play by play of why I am unable to go? Do I need to overexplain and if I feel that I do, why? Do I feel guilty for needing to take care of something else or because I just can’t make it due to ill health or the such? I’ve learned that to say, “Unfortunately, I need to postpone this evening. Something has come up and I will be in touch soon.”, can be enough.

It’s not easy. I think it’s human nature, for most, to want to explain and give reasons, or make excuses.

I struggle with this when telling a story. Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I’m always setting the stage – the who, what, when, where, how and why. By them time I get to the point, I’ve forgotten what in the heck I was even talking about. I’m working on it, but it’s not easy.

Even as I review this – way too many words! Here’s to putting more thought into what we say, and what we don’t say.

For the one who tried tirelessly to make it work.

You’re exhausted, aren’t you?

Sometimes we need to let go, and that’s not easy.

We need to remind ourselves, when we travel down memory lane, that we made every effort and acknowledge the fact that if the other person cared, s/he would be reaching out.

But they’re not. And maybe they can’t, or won’t, because they wanted it to end – yet didn’t have the courage to own up to that.

So stop beating yourself up. Stop wishing and praying. And see things as they are.

It won’t be easy, but each time you want and wish remember – if they wanted to be with you, they’d be here. Simple as that.

Accept, let go, and move on. You deserve to be free, and find contentment.

The lonely hearts club.

Writing for a number of online publications, one in particular that scores pieces based on hearts, shares, and comments, I’d noticed that my articles on gratitude, self-development and life in general didn’t rate that high.

Thankfully, scoring has never mattered to me. I didn’t even know that was the case when I penned my first piece – until I won first place on the Ecosystem with an unexpected monetary payout, a wonderful surprise that absolutely felt terrific.

Continue reading “The lonely hearts club.”

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Sometimes we find it difficult, if not near impossible to receive. We may be good at giving, yet struggle to open  ourselves up to the generosity and kindness of others.

Point to ponder: Why do we find it hard to receive? Why is it easy for some of us to willingly and effortlessly give, yet feel awkward when we are on the receiving end? Why do we struggle with what to say, how to respond and in opening ourselves up to receive those gifts?

Soulful reflection: Someone close to me recently received a lovely offer from someone, yet didn’t know how to respond. It was uncomfortable and there was an apprehension around crafting an appropriate response. For me, responding is easy, however, being on the receiving end is not. I love to give, yet struggle with receiving – but I am learning and have put specific mental checkpoints in place to ensure I remove myself from the offer – and step into the other person’s shoes.

When you’re a giver by nature, the universe almost seems to consistently throw takers your way. It’s like magnets to steel. And wow, those takers have no problem being on the receiving end. They can take and take until the giver has nothing left mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically. It’s exhausting and can deplete one’s soul. Yet givers can’t seem to stop, even when they try. It’s who they are, how they’re wired – and it’s a beautiful thing.

If you’re a giver who has trouble receiving, stop and check-in with yourself. Do you hear yourself saying the following consistently: “Thank you, but you don’t have to.”, “I don’t want you to go through the trouble.”, “You shouldn’t have.” “No, but thank you.”, or “I don’t want to put you out.”?  Did you ever step into the shoes of the other person, that person like you, who derives pleasure and happiness from helping others? The one who selflessly gives of him or herself because they want to, expecting nothing in return? Take a moment and do that, then you might be able to better receive the gifts others have to give. And by gifts, it’s not only the tangible. It is the gift of time. The gift of a generous spirit, a helping hand and a listening ear. It’s the gift of love and friendship.

When people want to do something nice for you and you feel the need to say no or take over, it will most likely hurt their feelings and make them uncomfortable. There should be a balance – a give and take, for all of the givers out there. Don’t worry about becoming a taker. It won’t happen. It’s not in you. But you can become a person who can willingly surrender to receiving from others, accepting the love and care they have to offer.

Can you imagine what a beautiful world this could be?

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: When we ask for honesty, we desire and expect to get the truth. It’s what we are seeking.

Point to ponder: Why do we find it so hard to be honest, even when we are constantly asking for it? Why do we fear hurting someone’s feelings and dancing around the honest answer when that is what they asked us for?

Soulful reflection: Honesty. It is the most sought after ask in life. Honesty from others, and honesty with ourselves. Yet we often shy away from it when asked for an ‘honest opinion’. We fear hurting someone or upsetting them. And sometimes – that does happen. You’re asked to be truthful then someone lashes out at you, or becomes defensive, when you are.

It’s a pet peeve of mine. When I ask you to be honest with me, I sincerely and willingly want you to be honest with me. I want to hear the hard truth, even if I don’t like it. I ask because I value you and seek your opinion. I want your input. I want to learn, grow and improve.

With those we love, family and friends, we owe them the truth. And we can deliver it with tact, kindness and diplomacy. We can be honest, and phrase it in a manner that truly helps them. As long as we are sincere and gentle with our thoughts and opinions, honesty should be easy.

The love of a dog.

As I spent time writing this evening, my fur-wonder stayed by my side.

When I had some things to finish before bed, my fur-wonder stayed by my side.

When I told my fur-wonder to go to bed, she did – for a hot second. Then she came back out to the hall to see what I was up to and why I was taking so long.

The guilt.

When I walked into my bedroom, there she was, sitting on the rug in front of the master bathroom sink, waiting for me.

Every night, no matter how exhausted she is, she sits or lays by my feet while I wash my face and brush my teeth. She will not get into the bed until I do. Even when she casts a questioning or judgmental glance, she waits for me.

The loyalty. The love. The devotion.

Yes – she is fickle, moody and temperamental. But she is faithful and committed.

The love a dog – there is nothing more genuine and true.

When you miss the one you love – even though it’s over.

Fiery love and torturous break-ups, tumultuous ups and downs, stops and starts. Lonely days and nights filled with nothing but endless heartache and longing. Angry periods filled with rage, hurt and venom.

These stories resonate with many, me included at one time. I sought out such articles and eagerly absorbed each word. I wrote such articles, my heart bleeding onto the screen with each keystroke, another tear falling from my eye.

Over time, the tears dried up and the acute heartbreak that once consumed me, became a dull ache that flared here and there. The severity of my symptoms would depend on the memory, the current state of mind and how volatile my mood. Many of these times could be analogized with a yo-yo, winding up tight, then slowly releasing. Continue reading “When you miss the one you love – even though it’s over.”