Soulful reflections – Page 16 – From the Desk of Pennwell Gray

What do you want written on your tombstone?

How often do we read that when we look back on our lives, we will never wish that our tombstones read: “I wish that I’d worked more.”

Yet I’ve grown quite comfortable and certain in saying that there are some who not only want that, but need that.

We try to help because we believe in taking control of our lives – personally and professionally, thus we expel experiences, stories and accounts of how they, too, can do this.

We offer up our wisdom and skills on how to manage time, energy and resources – yet the person never seems to make that work. They consistently find a reason or share a story – which is really an excuse – of why they are underwater and overwhelmed.

Continue reading “What do you want written on your tombstone?”

Want to have better days? Try not being an a@#!

Someone dear to me shared a story today and it closed with the usual, “Do you see why I am the way I am? Why I have an attitude?”

No, I can’t empathize with that.

We have attitudes because we choose to have attitudes and we live in a state of perpetual anger because we choose to be angry.

Though I’m sympathetic to what we all go through, I’m not a blamer and I place an enormity of emphasis on personal responsibility, accountability and civility.

More often than not, things don’t go our way and yes, we all have bad days when we handle matters quite poorly. We may lash out, be unkind and act selfishly.

But there’s a difference between a person having a bad day and a person making each day bad.

Our attitudes impact our mental well-being, interactions with others and ultimately, the outcome.

So if you’re constantly having bad days, maybe you should check yourself.

It’s not the world’s job to rise up and meet us. It’s our job to rise up and meet the world.

A simple point to ponder this afternoon.

A reflection upon today’s quote.

“The most effective way to do is to do it.” —Amelia Earhart

What great wisdom in this statement. We tend to wait to do most things.

We are never ready. We are afraid. We fear ridicule. We question our capabilities. We are filled with self-doubt, apprehension and angst.

But why? What could possibly go wrong if we just do it?

We may not do it well. We may be poked fun at. We may be brought down by those who don’t have the courage to try.

Or we may be pleasantly surprised.

We have no way to predict what the outcome will be, even if we make a good guess.

But we owe it to ourselves to try.

When we fail, we learn. When we learn, we grow. When we succeed, we gain confidence upon which a foundation for future success is built.

Keep this in mind today – then whatever it is you’ve been afraid to do, go do it.

The commercialization of Christmas. Bah humbug.

As I sat tonight to put my Christmas gift list on paper, I felt my mood shift.

My holiday spirit deflated, my mind went blank and a sense of dread filled me.

Up until that moment, Mrs. Clause had nothing on me.

Questioning your drinking habits? Six things to think about before you take that next sip.

Recently many people have been reaching out to me, sharing their personal struggles with alcohol – and I am no stranger to the havoc it can wreck on us physically, mentally and emotionally.

Alcohol abuse is more prevalent than ever in today’s society yet despite how much we work toward removing the stigma, many people fear ridicule and judgment if they openly question their alcohol use or admit that they may have a problem.

What many don’t realize is that alcohol abuse does not necessarily equate to alcoholism or addiction, but it does mean that a person has a propensity toward self-destructive behavior.

There are a multitude of variables at play, thus abuse does not always equal addiction or dependency. We may have developed a habit that we enjoy on one level, but deeply despise on another and is a negative – rather than positive – impact on our lives. Continue reading “Questioning your drinking habits? Six things to think about before you take that next sip.”

Education – more than just a degree.

It’s a part of my personality to feel the need to place a disclaimer ahead of topics that may be interpreted, perceived or judged differently than how I intended.

Maybe I didn’t express myself clearly or articulately enough or maybe there’s another reason, but I want to make certain readers understand that the objective of many a piece is to provoke thought, inspire reflection and spark conversations.

Still with me? Great! Let’s talk education. Continue reading “Education – more than just a degree.”

On letting go.

As human beings, we more often than not try to control everything.

Our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Our words, actions and behavior. And sadly the future, believing that we can control the direction of our lives and how others may feel, react or treat us.

The only real thing we have control over is cultivating our ability to let go. We may not need to let go of people or things, but we may need to let go of analyzing potential outcomes and dwelling on what if’s. Continue reading “On letting go.”

Thanksgiving eve.

As I wrap up preparations for tomorrow’s – well, now today’s given the hour – Thanksgiving celebration, I am flooded with wonderful memories from my childhood.

My grandmother would rise at 3AM to put the turkey in the oven. I don’t think I should say ‘rise’, because I’m not sure she ever slept. I’d inherited her ability to get an hour or two of sleep and function at full capacity, but sadly outgrew it.

So many moments of gratitude and joy. You just never know.

I’d forgotten what it was like to have a day off for reasons other than doctors’ appointments or other commitments that required taking vacation time.

But this week I took some days off which allow for an actual vacation – because it blends into the company Thanksgiving break.

Yes I’ve been guilty of checking in to make sure there are no urgent needs and spent some time answering emails – but not too much. This is a huge accomplishment for me. The reason for this good fortune is that other colleagues shared this same idea. Brilliant!

What a luxury to spend a day running errands without angst, not pressured for time. What a joy to do a bit of this and that, to tackle and participate in activities that I don’t get to during a regular work week. I felt like a little kid again!

Has it really been that long since I’ve taken a full week vs. a day here and there or a long weekend? Has it really been that long since I’ve felt unencumbered, unstressed and simply giddy?