When to say when.

Each of us handle hardships and loss in our own unique way. That way is an amalgam of our values, beliefs, personality traits, past experiences, fears, wants and needs.

Some people run away, looking for any means to escape their confusion and upset, pain and suffering.  Denial or feigned indifference leads them to suppress their emotions, their smile exaggerated and their laughter loud. Their positive spirit leans toward the extreme, as if there is nothing wrong at all. This can be temporary or permanent, a life filled with escapes used as coping mechanisms to quell emotions.  They may live large, overcompensate and avoid any opportunity to be alone with their feelings for the fear this would debilitate them. Continue reading “When to say when.”

Today’s point to ponder.

I’m stuck on that song that I wrote about last night. Not the song itself, but the message: Be quiet. Big boys don’t cry.  

What would life be like if we were not taught to suppress our feelings? What would life be like if were not made to feel bad about ourselves?

“You’re fat. You’re dumb. You’re too sensitive. You’re cold.”

“Stand up straight. Be a lady. Boys don’t play with dolls.”

When these things are said to children, we grow up with someone else’s vision of who we should be – or who they expect us to be.

Most of the time, adults have our best interests in mind. But sometimes not.

Sometimes it’s a projection rooted in something that happened to them.

When we speak to others, we need to think twice before we risk doing some emotional damage.

There is much to say – or write – on this subject, but for now, let’s just leave it as a point to ponder for today.

How did what you were told and taught in childhood shape who you are today?