Music moves the heart and stirs the soul. Remembering Karen Carpenter.

I’m a big music gal who couldn’t narrow my tastes down to a favorite genre if you paid me – or simply asked.

I love all music and my collection has no rhyme or reason. From world music to classical, funk, rock, and decade mixes. Blue grass, Cajun, Christian and soul. Easy listening, big band, Gregorian chant. No matter what the genre, you are guaranteed to find it when you scroll through the countless playlists on my apps – or on my Classic iPod (yes, it exists in my car). There are even remnants of my past on CDs at my parents’ house.

My music collection resembles my book collection – and it is filled with diversity, eclectic in nature. You would definitely look at me and scratch your head. And that’s ok. It’s taken me 52 years to get to know myself, so good luck if you want to try. There is no box large enough for me to squeeze into – and that’s no play on words given what I allowed the pandemic years to do to my body!

Those who follow my blog know that I am either listening to instrumental music or tuned into the crickets singing their own songs during the night while I write. Usually it’s classical, a playlist that touches me in some way and allows the thoughts to strike the keyboard, transforming those thoughts into words.

Tonight, I had one of my select 70’s playlists on – those could be my favorite, because they just move me in every way.

I played one song over and over, then looked at the artists and wondered who the heck they were. Obviously a one hit wonder, yet a wonder that brought forth so many memories and afforded me an opportunity to walk down memory lane so many times – because I played it, again and again, enjoying visiting with the past.

When I finally moved beyond that one song, Karen Carpenter was up next. I love so many of her songs – she and her brother – and have listened closely to the lyrics since I was of an age that could comprehend the words.

I heard a new one this evening, “Love Me for What I am“, and reflected upon the lyrics. That reflection brought me back to one of my favorite songs by The Carpenters, “I know I need to be in Love“, a song that at one time I’d claimed as my personal anthem. That was accompanied by John Denver’s “Seasons of the Heart“, which was a conundrum. I knew I needed to be in love, but I also had to say goodbye. What a dilemma.

Turned out I simply needed a dog – unconditional love and companionship. Kidding – not kidding.

I found it ironic that Karen Carpenter’s song haunted me tonight, another one that I played over and over, followed by my anthem a few songs later.

How sad was Karen. She wanted to find love more than anything, didn’t settle for any love that wasn’t enough, and never stopped believing that the world could be a true rainbow connection.

Today is the first day of Suicide Prevention Month. Karen Carpenter battled anorexia and lost. Karen Carpenter fought to hold-on to an ideal and lost. Karen Carpenter was tormented by her feelings, emotions and experiences, which ultimately led to her death.

Eating disorders have little to do with food, but everything to do with emotions. Whether someone is anorexic, bulimic or a compulsive binge eater, there is pain, suffering, conflict, anger, hurt, and confusion fueling it all.

The irony again is most people who are struggling don’t let it show. I was pained to listen to this song that was new to me, yet clearly gave us insight to a woman who was suffering when I put it together with her other music.

Take a moment and really pay attention to those around you – family, friends, and colleagues. If you sense someone is struggling, don’t be shy. Take a chance and reach out. That person may need just one person to pull them up from the depths of hell.

Music is life – and it can tell someone’s story. That’s why we listen. We want to relate, or feel, or let ourselves go in some way.

May this post stir your soul – and move your heart.

Join me in remembering Karen Carpenter tonight in honor of her spirit, and as commencement to Suicide Prevention Month. You may say, ‘she died of heart failure.’ Think again. She died due to heart failure from the slow suicide of an eating disorder.

I Know I Need to be in Love
The hardest thing I’ve ever done is keep believing
There’s someone in this crazy world for me
The way that people come and go through temporary lives
My chance could come and I might never know
I used to say no promises, let’s keep it simple
But freedom only helps you say goodbye
It took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free
The price I’ve paid is high enough for me
I know I need to be in love
I know I’ve wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that’s what I’ll find
So here I am with pockets full of good intentions
But none of them will comfort me tonight
I’m wide awake at four a.m. without a friend in sight
Hanging on a hope but I’m all right
I know I need to be in love
I know I’ve wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that’s what I’ll find
I know I need to be in love
I know I’ve wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that’s what I’ll find
Love me for What I Am 
We fell in love
On the first night that we met
Together
We’ve been happy
I have very few regrets
The ordinary problems
Have not been hard to face
But lately little changes
Have been slowly taking place
You’re always finding something
Is wrong in what I do
But you can’t rearrange my life
Because it pleases you
You’ve got to love me
For what I am
For simply being me
Don’t love me
For what you intend
Or hope that I will be
And if you’re only using me
To feed your fantasy
You’re really not in love
So let me go
I must be free
If what you want
Isn’t natural for me
I won’t pretend to keep you
What I am I have to be
The picture of perfection
Is only on your mind
For all your expectations
Love can never be designed
We either take each other
For everything we are
Or leave the life
We’ve made behind
And make another start
You’ve got to love me
For what I am
For simply being me
Don’t love me
For what you intend
Or hope that I will be
And if you’re only using me
To feed your fantasy
You’re really not in love
So let me go
I must be free
And if you’re only using me
To feed your fantasy
You’re really not in love
So let me go
I must be free
You’re really not in love
So let me go
I must be free
Karen’s last song. I scratch my head, because it sounds like she’d found the very love she sought. 
Now
Now, when it rains, I don’t feel cold
Now that I have your hand to hold
The winds might blow through me, but I don’t care
There’s no harm in thunder if you are there
And now
Now when we touch my feelings fly
Now when I’m smiling, I know why
You light up my world like the morning sun
You’re so deep within me we’re almost one
And now
All the fears that I had start to fade
I was always afraid love might forget me
That love might let me down
Then look who I found
Winds might blow through me, but I don’t care
There’s no harm in thunder, if you are there
And now
Now, now when I wake there’s someone home
I’ll never face the nights alone
You gave me the courage I need to win
To open my heart and to let you in
And I never really knew how until now
Until now
No, I never really knew how
Until now

Author: E.M. Murphy

A voracious writer, lifetime learner and eternal seeker who aims to open minds and hearts. Armed with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a NASM Certified Behavior Change Specialist, humanity and humor is at the heart of my writing, reminding us that the key to success will always start with a genuine concern for others while making sure to be true to our authentic selves.

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