Music moves the heart and stirs the soul. Remembering Karen Carpenter.

I’m a big music gal who couldn’t narrow my tastes down to a favorite genre if you paid me – or simply asked.

I love all music and my collection has no rhyme or reason. From world music to classical, funk, rock, and decade mixes. Blue grass, Cajun, Christian and soul. Easy listening, big band, Gregorian chant. No matter what the genre, you are guaranteed to find it when you scroll through the countless playlists on my apps – or on my Classic iPod (yes, it exists in my car). There are even remnants of my past on CDs at my parents’ house.

My music collection resembles my book collection – and it is filled with diversity, eclectic in nature. You would definitely look at me and scratch your head. And that’s ok. It’s taken me 52 years to get to know myself, so good luck if you want to try. There is no box large enough for me to squeeze into – and that’s no play on words given what I allowed the pandemic years to do to my body!

Those who follow my blog know that I am either listening to instrumental music or tuned into the crickets singing their own songs during the night while I write. Usually it’s classical, a playlist that touches me in some way and allows the thoughts to strike the keyboard, transforming those thoughts into words.

Tonight, I had one of my select 70’s playlists on – those could be my favorite, because they just move me in every way.

I played one song over and over, then looked at the artists and wondered who the heck they were. Obviously a one hit wonder, yet a wonder that brought forth so many memories and afforded me an opportunity to walk down memory lane so many times – because I played it, again and again, enjoying visiting with the past.

When I finally moved beyond that one song, Karen Carpenter was up next. I love so many of her songs – she and her brother – and have listened closely to the lyrics since I was of an age that could comprehend the words.

I heard a new one this evening, “Love Me for What I am“, and reflected upon the lyrics. That reflection brought me back to one of my favorite songs by The Carpenters, “I know I need to be in Love“, a song that at one time I’d claimed as my personal anthem. That was accompanied by John Denver’s “Seasons of the Heart“, which was a conundrum. I knew I needed to be in love, but I also had to say goodbye. What a dilemma.

Turned out I simply needed a dog – unconditional love and companionship. Kidding – not kidding.

I found it ironic that Karen Carpenter’s song haunted me tonight, another one that I played over and over, followed by my anthem a few songs later.

How sad was Karen. She wanted to find love more than anything, didn’t settle for any love that wasn’t enough, and never stopped believing that the world could be a true rainbow connection.

Today is the first day of Suicide Prevention Month. Karen Carpenter battled anorexia and lost. Karen Carpenter fought to hold-on to an ideal and lost. Karen Carpenter was tormented by her feelings, emotions and experiences, which ultimately led to her death.

Eating disorders have little to do with food, but everything to do with emotions. Whether someone is anorexic, bulimic or a compulsive binge eater, there is pain, suffering, conflict, anger, hurt, and confusion fueling it all.

The irony again is most people who are struggling don’t let it show. I was pained to listen to this song that was new to me, yet clearly gave us insight to a woman who was suffering when I put it together with her other music.

Take a moment and really pay attention to those around you – family, friends, and colleagues. If you sense someone is struggling, don’t be shy. Take a chance and reach out. That person may need just one person to pull them up from the depths of hell.

Music is life – and it can tell someone’s story. That’s why we listen. We want to relate, or feel, or let ourselves go in some way.

May this post stir your soul – and move your heart.

Join me in remembering Karen Carpenter tonight in honor of her spirit, and as commencement to Suicide Prevention Month. You may say, ‘she died of heart failure.’ Think again. She died due to heart failure from the slow suicide of an eating disorder.