I’m not sure there is anything as painful as loving someone who didn’t, or couldn’t, love you in the way you needed.
What’s even more painful is when that person did love you as you needed – then stopped.
The questions and confusion perplex you, yet sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes you don’t and won’t get closure. They won’t come running, or even walking, back to you professing words of love and asking for forgiveness.
More often than not, it’s just over. And sometimes people can’t give what they get, or don’t have the capacity to compromise or yield, two tenets for a successful long- term relationship.
I was reminded of this tonight. I’m reminded of it every night – some nights more acute than others.
As I baked and cooked obsessively for the Fourth, I questioned if my kitchen passion was sincere or a distraction. Something for me to throw myself into to as a diversion, a way to sidetrack my heartache. Not sure, because I love experimenting in my kitchen and it does give me joy, despite my foibles. But it has seemed a bit obsessive as of late.
There’s also nothing as painful as saying goodbye to someone you love with the hope they’ll see the light and want you back.
It’s then when you realize that’s a fantasy, a false hope and dream. But the reality is, that person will never be right for you. Leopards don’t change their spots. And if you’re like me, you’ve tested that theory a time or two – or more.
Yet it doesn’t stop you from loving someone. From wanting to be with them. From wanting to fix every wrong and dream they’ll compromise for you.
At some point you need to truly let go. What will that take?
Heartache – my old friend. We need to part ways. It’s time to heal the past, and maybe move on.
If you’re missing someone tonight, a romantic partner, ask yourself why and be sure to be honest with yourself.