Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Sometimes we find it difficult, if not near impossible to receive. We may be good at giving, yet struggle to open  ourselves up to the generosity and kindness of others.

Point to ponder: Why do we find it hard to receive? Why is it easy for some of us to willingly and effortlessly give, yet feel awkward when we are on the receiving end? Why do we struggle with what to say, how to respond and in opening ourselves up to receive those gifts?

Soulful reflection: Someone close to me recently received a lovely offer from someone, yet didn’t know how to respond. It was uncomfortable and there was an apprehension around crafting an appropriate response. For me, responding is easy, however, being on the receiving end is not. I love to give, yet struggle with receiving – but I am learning and have put specific mental checkpoints in place to ensure I remove myself from the offer – and step into the other person’s shoes.

When you’re a giver by nature, the universe almost seems to consistently throw takers your way. It’s like magnets to steel. And wow, those takers have no problem being on the receiving end. They can take and take until the giver has nothing left mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically. It’s exhausting and can deplete one’s soul. Yet givers can’t seem to stop, even when they try. It’s who they are, how they’re wired – and it’s a beautiful thing.

If you’re a giver who has trouble receiving, stop and check-in with yourself. Do you hear yourself saying the following consistently: “Thank you, but you don’t have to.”, “I don’t want you to go through the trouble.”, “You shouldn’t have.” “No, but thank you.”, or “I don’t want to put you out.”?  Did you ever step into the shoes of the other person, that person like you, who derives pleasure and happiness from helping others? The one who selflessly gives of him or herself because they want to, expecting nothing in return? Take a moment and do that, then you might be able to better receive the gifts others have to give. And by gifts, it’s not only the tangible. It is the gift of time. The gift of a generous spirit, a helping hand and a listening ear. It’s the gift of love and friendship.

When people want to do something nice for you and you feel the need to say no or take over, it will most likely hurt their feelings and make them uncomfortable. There should be a balance – a give and take, for all of the givers out there. Don’t worry about becoming a taker. It won’t happen. It’s not in you. But you can become a person who can willingly surrender to receiving from others, accepting the love and care they have to offer.

Can you imagine what a beautiful world this could be?

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: When we ask for honesty, we desire and expect to get the truth. It’s what we are seeking.

Point to ponder: Why do we find it so hard to be honest, even when we are constantly asking for it? Why do we fear hurting someone’s feelings and dancing around the honest answer when that is what they asked us for?

Soulful reflection: Honesty. It is the most sought after ask in life. Honesty from others, and honesty with ourselves. Yet we often shy away from it when asked for an ‘honest opinion’. We fear hurting someone or upsetting them. And sometimes – that does happen. You’re asked to be truthful then someone lashes out at you, or becomes defensive, when you are.

It’s a pet peeve of mine. When I ask you to be honest with me, I sincerely and willingly want you to be honest with me. I want to hear the hard truth, even if I don’t like it. I ask because I value you and seek your opinion. I want your input. I want to learn, grow and improve.

With those we love, family and friends, we owe them the truth. And we can deliver it with tact, kindness and diplomacy. We can be honest, and phrase it in a manner that truly helps them. As long as we are sincere and gentle with our thoughts and opinions, honesty should be easy.

Your daily thought, point to ponder and soulful reflection.

Daily thought: Sometimes things just don’t fit. They don’t feel right. It’s too much, or too little. Leans too much left or right. It’s too close, or too distant.

Point to ponder: Why do we feel the need to make things fit, or forces ourselves to be all in – or all out?

Soulful reflection: I wish that I could get the years back when I tried to make things fit – and I’m not even talking about my jeans! Wanting to fit in. Wanting to make a relationship work. Wanting to believe completely in something, or not believe at all.

The older I get, the less I care if things fit and I’ve stopped trying to make them fit. I accept that I won’t fit in with everyone, and that some relationships just don’t work. I don’t subscribe to any one philosophy, or force myself to feel as if I have to or should.

Only when we do this, will we find true peace and serenity.

The love of a dog.

As I spent time writing this evening, my fur-wonder stayed by my side.

When I had some things to finish before bed, my fur-wonder stayed by my side.

When I told my fur-wonder to go to bed, she did – for a hot second. Then she came back out to the hall to see what I was up to and why I was taking so long.

The guilt.

When I walked into my bedroom, there she was, sitting on the rug in front of the master bathroom sink, waiting for me.

Every night, no matter how exhausted she is, she sits or lays by my feet while I wash my face and brush my teeth. She will not get into the bed until I do. Even when she casts a questioning or judgmental glance, she waits for me.

The loyalty. The love. The devotion.

Yes – she is fickle, moody and temperamental. But she is faithful and committed.

The love a dog – there is nothing more genuine and true.

When you miss the one you love – even though it’s over.

Fiery love and torturous break-ups, tumultuous ups and downs, stops and starts. Lonely days and nights filled with nothing but endless heartache and longing. Angry periods filled with rage, hurt and venom.

These stories resonate with many, me included at one time. I sought out such articles and eagerly absorbed each word. I wrote such articles, my heart bleeding onto the screen with each keystroke, another tear falling from my eye.

Over time, the tears dried up and the acute heartbreak that once consumed me, became a dull ache that flared here and there. The severity of my symptoms would depend on the memory, the current state of mind and how volatile my mood. Many of these times could be analogized with a yo-yo, winding up tight, then slowly releasing. Continue reading “When you miss the one you love – even though it’s over.”

Turn off your phone, and tune into your life.

Social media and texting have become central to our daily lives. Many feel the need to check-in when they arrive somewhere, post where they’re having dinner, and much, much more.

I’m not bashing it in anyway and I’ve done the same over the years, navigating the social channels and learning about them for work, not personal, at the start. Had it not been for that, I’d still have my BlackBerry and had remained the Facebook anti-Christ. But I have to say, I love many aspects of these communication vehicles. It’s reconnected me with family and friends, introduced me to people with like interests around the globe, and serves in promoting a lot of good content – when we weed through it. On the flip side, it can also drain our bank accounts when our willpower is low, targeting us through ads that make us want what we never even knew existed. Apple pay, PayPal, Shop – click, it’s mine!

And let’s not discount how valuable social media – as well as texting, FaceTime, and the good old fashioned telephone call – was during the COVID years. It was instrumental in keeping us all connected, professionally and personally.

Continue reading “Turn off your phone, and tune into your life.”

An explosion of nostalgia.

As I watched the local Fourth fireworks celebration from my window this evening, I thought how wonderful it is to live where I do and have this pleasure from the comfort of my home.

Then I scratched my head. Where I grew up, I had this opportunity every year. Not just a local fireworks celebration, but the Fourth of July extravaganza on the Boston Esplanade.

Continue reading “An explosion of nostalgia.”