When did kindness go out of fashion?

While taking a late night Facebook scroll, I counted six posts within seconds that asked people to ‘please be kind when responding’ to questions that seemed quite sincere in requesting advice.

The people placed trust in an online community, hoping that someone else experienced what they are currently enduring and could offer some words of wisdom.

Repeatedly the plea was made for kindness, asking others to reply in a gentle and compassionate manner.

There are some who still believe in the innate goodness of human beings and I do know it still exists, we’ve all witnessed it, yet it has grown increasingly rare. Full disclosure – life has certainly changed me. Trust is earned, not given away. People have proven to be fickle, shallow, cruel, and judgmental. True friends are hard to come by and sincerity, infrequent.

But there are so many of those who will prove that wrong. Those who walk the walk. Those who care about others, who may judge then seek to understand. Those who see all sides, and want others to feel safe and secure, knowing that someone has their back. These people exist – but they’re like trying to find a needle in a haystack these days. And most often – they don’t fuel or participate in propaganda. Yet they support you.

As I browsed the bookstore this evening before baking then scrolling social media to decompress, I was introduced to the countless children’s books now available – gay, straight, race, gender, etc. There was something for everyone and I thought – this is how it should be.

From a tender age, I’ve been woke and long before it was ‘a thing’, yet I’m also a conservative in many ways.

I grew up with gays before it was a norm. I met many transvestites and coached transgender teens. A friend of the family gave me a colored baby doll. I called out the fact that there were white dolls, but no black or Asian or Hindu. My faith is strong, yet I respect all other religions and spiritual followings. I believe in God and do personally tout ‘faith, family, and freedom.’ My politics are independent and will aways be, yet I’ve historically voted Republican. I praise conservatism, yet I loathe ignorance. I don’t fit into one box – nor do many others.

Tonight I reflected upon politics and religion. I contemplated the state of our country and the world. I pondered the positives and negatives of social media. Then I looked at humanity, the innate goodness that overrides differences and ignorance, unjust opinions and judgment. Why is the media and certain groups dividing us? It’s only one perspective and many of us are guilty.

Today, people appear to work against, rather than with, each other. It seems we have individual vs. collective agendas. We live in the day and age of reality TV where the cast bickers, argues, and fights – and the audience, the spectators, love it. The more friction and controversy, the higher the ratings.

People today are loud and crass – not all, but most, sadly. Obnoxious has become the norm.

There is a big difference between assertiveness and arrogance, leadership and bullying. Do you know the difference? Can you communicate with others in a way that actually considers the other person – what they feel, think, and want?

So I ask – when did kindness go out of fashion? When did we become one side or the other when it comes to politics or religion? Shouldn’t we seek to learn about each other, step into the shoes of another, then have the maturity to discuss – even when we disagree?

Have we taken the time to reflect upon whether our opinions are our own, or those of others that we’ve absorbed over the course of our lives? Reflect, dig deep within. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.

I am 100% for a country and world that, at our core, is comprised of kindness, compassion, and understanding.

This is not reality TV – this is life and we shouldn’t make a spectacle of it. The fact that we laugh at the President of the USA is shameful – elder abuse, period. The fact that they judge him for needing three people to pull him up when he fell – thanks to autoimmune diseases my body is failing me and I could find myself in the same position. At least he has age on his side!

Cruel. I don’t respect him as a leader – never have, yet have respect for the office and his current condition.

There is a lot we need to figure out around where we are today, and we can, yet we need to work together and lead by example every day.

Where is your kindness? Has it gone out of fashion?

Author: E.M. Murphy

A voracious writer, lifetime learner and eternal seeker who aims to open minds and hearts. Armed with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a NASM Certified Behavior Change Specialist, humanity and humor is at the heart of my writing, reminding us that the key to success will always start with a genuine concern for others while making sure to be true to our authentic selves.

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