If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.

Having recently been verbally assaulted by the written word in Facebook Messenger , I took a stand then, let it go.  It served to remind me that no matter how fair or unbiased we are aiming to be, there will always be someone who disagrees and perceives a message differently.  And that being said, haters will hate.

Today, I witnessed a fellow blogger and fine lad, Liam, experience the same but for him, it was publicly documented on his post.  Whether intentional or unintentional, the comment remained and followers rallied around him as well as posted individually, supporting him, his personal experiences and messages he shares around the globe and the inspirational impact it has on well, most of us. Not the haters. (Public service announcement: Be sure to check out Liam’s Photos and Stories of Ireland.  You’ll be glad you did!)

I will perceive that as brave because I typically hide or delete nasty comments, not wanting to infect my readers with the poisonous perspective of others – but more importantly, because I do not think they deserve the attention they seek.  My page, my rules and if you didn’t read the disclaimer, not my problem.

Social media is an opportunity to scroll by the best and worst of humanity.  There are cyber-bullies of all ages and those who derive pleasure from bashing others.  Obviously that’s the case because if it wasn’t, they’d simply scroll on by or unfollow a page.

When I first started writing again, I decided upon a pen name for the anonymity it afforded me. Over time – and it didn’t take more than a day or two – my pen name remains however, the author is always my true identity.

As most will realize, writing is a wonderful yet frightening endeavor because you never know how your thoughts will be interpreted or perceived. But that is also where the beauty of it begins – in giving us the opportunity to partake in a respectful exchange of diverse opinions while having the maturity to still like each other at the end of the debate.

It’s taken me 51 years to grow comfortable with not being liked or being judged.  Why was it I wasted so many years caring about what others – those who didn’t even know me – thought?  Why would it ruin my day or send me into hiding until I recovered, hesitant to put myself out there again?

And this got me to thinking. If it took me 51 years, how about these kids who are growing up with social media?  If the haters can unnerve a grown adult with life experience and self-knowledge, how about the children, teens and young adults?  When I reflect upon the suicide rate of kids due to social media, there are no words.

An assistant professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, Jamie Zelazny, PhD, RN, noted that suicide is the second-leading cause of death among individuals aged 10-24 years.  Furthermore, rates have tripled among youth aged 10 to 14 years.  This includes girls, but shows that the African American children under the age of 13 have significantly higher rates. What is even more disturbing?  The rising rates in these demographic groups have coincided with the rising rates of social media use.  We can only imagine how this year of homeschooling and almost everything being done virtually might impact these numbers.  Staggering.

If our adults cannot manage their online emotions and social bashing, what kind of example are we setting for our children?

Something to think about as we close out this year.  And if you find yourself among the haters, I pose just one question to you: If you can’t say anything good, why say anything at all?  

Author: E.M. Murphy

A freelance writer, coach, eternal seeker and Renaissance soul who aims to open minds and hearts. Armed with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a NASM Certified Behavior Change Specialist, humanity and humor is at the heart of my writing, reminding us that the key to success will always start with a genuine concern for others while making sure to be true to our authentic selves.

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