What a dour title for this post – yet it’s true and a reality we all face. People can be such a disappointment.
I’m elated with age and how it liberates us in many ways. The things we thought were important when we were young, aren’t. The insecurities we allowed to handicap us, dissipate. The time spent on worrying about things that really didn’t matter, stops.
It seems that most people are caught up in their own “stuff” – their own drama, their own success, or their own problems. It seems that many lead transient lives, most things lasting only for a short time. There are promises of friendship and support but when the time comes, suddenly they’re too busy, or can’t show up.
People are disappointing. We do need to learn how to be our own best friends because few are blessed with a sincere and genuine tribe – and how blessed you are if you have that.
Takers seem to gravitate towards givers. Givers seem to gravitate to takers. People we thought of as friends prove to be anything but. And sometimes it is a virtual stranger that takes our hand and opens our heart.
At this stage of life, I have met many who are discerning between friend or foe. People who are facing the reality that the friends they thought they had, aren’t friends at all. Maybe they were drinking buddies, or work acquaintances, but time has revealed that they were nothing more than that – no matter how deeply you cared for them.
Don’t hold on. Don’t keep trying. If you’ve been giving the benefit of the doubt for a long time, maybe it’s time to stop. If you find that the people in your life do nothing more than let you down, don’t be afraid to move on. It is a fallacy that you can’t make friends after a certain age. I’ve made more friends in my middle-age years than I had as a child. And that’s good – because you are meeting people who can meet you where you are today. Because some of us aren’t desperately trying to hang on to our youth or the past – we actually want to embrace the now and build a network of friends who share our passions and goals.
I can only speak for myself, but I urge you to build a tribe that lifts your spirits, is there for you when you’re down, and encourages you to be the best you can be. Stop clinging to the past.
And if you don’t have that, and if the ‘friends’ you have bring you more pain than joy – move on. When you are true to yourself, you will attract like-minded people who can share life with you. If you’re stuck in the past with people who are so different from you in ways that hinder, rather than foster, growth, move on. It’s ok to let them go.
People can be such a disappointment – but it’s up to you to put a stop to it and move on. It’s ok to leave certain people behind. And it’s ok to feel good about it. And it’s even more ok to close that door. Some bridges are meant to be burned.