People can be such a disappointment.

What a dour title for this post – yet it’s true and a reality we all face. People can be such a disappointment.

I’m elated with age and how it liberates us in many ways. The things we thought were important when we were young, aren’t. The insecurities we allowed to handicap us, dissipate. The time spent on worrying about things that really didn’t matter, stops.

It seems that most people are caught up in their own “stuff” – their own drama, their own success, or their own problems. It seems that many lead transient lives, most things lasting only for a short time. There are promises of friendship and support but when the time comes, suddenly they’re too busy, or can’t show up.

People are disappointing. We do need to learn how to be our own best friends because few are blessed with a sincere and genuine tribe – and how blessed you are if you have that.

Takers seem to gravitate towards givers. Givers seem to gravitate to takers. People we thought of as friends prove to be anything but. And sometimes it is a virtual stranger that takes our hand and opens our heart.

At this stage of life, I have met many who are discerning between friend or foe. People who are facing the reality that the friends they thought they had, aren’t friends at all. Maybe they were drinking buddies, or work acquaintances, but time has revealed that they were nothing more than that – no matter how deeply you cared for them.

Don’t hold on. Don’t keep trying. If you’ve been giving the benefit of the doubt for a long time, maybe it’s time to stop. If you find that the people in your life do nothing more than let you down, don’t be afraid to move on. It is a fallacy that you can’t make friends after a certain age. I’ve made more friends in my middle-age years than I had as a child. And that’s good – because you are meeting people who can meet you where you are today. Because some of us aren’t desperately trying to hang on to our youth or the past – we actually want to embrace the now and build a network of friends who share our passions and goals.

I can only speak for myself, but I urge you to build a tribe that lifts your spirits, is there for you when you’re down, and encourages you to be the best you can be. Stop clinging to the past.

And if you don’t have that, and if the ‘friends’ you have bring you more pain than joy – move on. When you are true to yourself, you will attract like-minded people who can share life with you. If you’re stuck in the past with people who are so different from you in ways that hinder, rather than foster, growth, move on. It’s ok to let them go.

People can be such a disappointment – but it’s up to you to put a stop to it and move on. It’s ok to leave certain people behind. And it’s ok to feel good about it. And it’s even more ok to close that door. Some bridges are meant to be burned.

Author: E.M. Murphy

A voracious writer, lifetime learner and eternal seeker who aims to open minds and hearts. Armed with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a NASM Certified Behavior Change Specialist, humanity and humor is at the heart of my writing, reminding us that the key to success will always start with a genuine concern for others while making sure to be true to our authentic selves.

One thought on “People can be such a disappointment.”

  1. Life is better if we don’t set expectations of others based on what we need, that way we will never be disappointed. Life for me is not about filling my wants and needs, but by filling others wants and needs,. If it is within my power to do so. By doing that, I am truly filled with inner contentment. When I’ve loaned money to a friend or family I never expect it to be paid back. That way I will not harbor resentments if it is not. And believe me there have been those times.

    I have learned from those experiences not to be put in that position again. I just right it off. Expectations are what creates barriers, and holds people apart. Wisdom comes from taking those experiences and molding them into something positive. Speak your mind, but as not to hurt but inform. If they truly are your friends they may move on, but If they come back, they were a true friend. Always be willing to forgive. Absolutes end up with you having absolutely nothing.

    Its those friends and acquaintances that challenge us, to test our moral fiber. Sending them packing may rid us of the immediate pain, but it does not erase the sting.

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