Put the blame where it belongs. It’s our own fault.

Disclaimer: There are countless decent, respectful, kind, and good people in this world. This post is not to be taken personally. We are humans, doing our best – but we can do better. Just saying. This doesn’t apply to all, yet it applies to many.

We need to step up and take action – as parents, grandparents, children, spouses, neighbors, friends, managers, and human beings.

We make excuses for bad behavior. We allow it, condone it, or ignore it.

We take the easy way out, saying that it’s just the way it is these days, and in doing so contribute to the problem by way of acceptance and passivity.

We say that there’s nothing we can do – but that’s not true. We have a choice – yet our decision fuels the decay of our society. Our decision spreads disrespect and bullying like a cancer. There is a lack of civility and tolerance.

We can shout from the rooftops diversity, equity, and inclusion but the reality is – people have become mean and ugly. There is no filter, no thought before using words as weapons, mass casualties as a result.

Parents want to be friends with their children. They cut them a bit too much slack and strive to raise them with a strong sense of self – yet no compassion or care for others which results in a lack of discipline and selfishness.

People make excuses for youth and lack of maturity or experience, saying they don’t know better. Have you watched Leave it to Beaver? Do you recall the greatest generation, the young men and women who signed up to serve our country, many lying about their age so they could join the military – aged 15, 16 or 17, like my grandfather?

From the 30s through the 60s (opinion, not fact checked), 18-21 year olds fell in love and married. Relationships based on friendship and fun, loyalty and commitment. I chuckle as I fondly recall my great-aunt who said, “We stayed married because we couldn’t afford divorce!” Today, folks are so quick to get divorced – she got fat, he drinks too much, she cares about the kids more than me, he has to find himself. Oy.

We poke fun at everything and humor is the greatest stress release of all. I’m all for it – or most of it. Yet, our humor has become disrespectful, mean, and ugly. There are things I laugh at – and things I scroll right by. Even if it’s funny, it’s just not right in my opinion, so I may opt out as to not participate with the masses. Maybe I take some things too seriously, possibly so. Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you. We will just live and let live.

But I think we can do better, if we want to. Do we want to? Only some, certainly not all. Life may seem dull or boring to some without drama and controversy, even though they say they want none of that.

So how can we make a difference?

If your kid acts rude and selfish, don’t allow it. Put a stop to it. Actions do have consequences.

Don’t participate to gossip. It took me years to realize that I was part of the problem, trusting those who hadn’t earned my trust and mistaking inclusion as friendship when others were bringing me in their gossip – or befriending me only to find out what I knew. I could say they took advantage of me but no. I was naive and gullible – or really desperate to be liked at the time.

Stand your ground. If you feel strongly about something and it may not be popular, speak out anyway. Your integrity is more important than anything else.

Media – read and listen, then research and find your own truth. Don’t trust the news. Make the time to learn before you think you know what’s what.

Lastly, stay true to who you are. If you are kind, polite, and generous, don’t let society dictate to you. If someone is insulted because you held a door for him / her – that’s on them, not you. If someone thinks you’re too polite – that’s on them. Be who you are and build your tribe. If you end up alone, you’ll be with someone you can rely on and trust. To hell with the rest of them.

Author: E.M. Murphy

A voracious writer, lifetime learner and eternal seeker who aims to open minds and hearts. Armed with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a NASM Certified Behavior Change Specialist, humanity and humor is at the heart of my writing, reminding us that the key to success will always start with a genuine concern for others while making sure to be true to our authentic selves.

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