Addiction is a prison. It holds one hostage within one’s self, the worst hell of all.
Some can overcome, and some just can’t stop the endless cycle. Despite intervention, rehab, meetings and more, they can’t release the demon that possesses their soul: alcohol or drugs.
It could also be sex, food, gambling or a number of other afflictions. Whatever it is, the power it has over a person is relentless.
In messaging with a dear friend’s sister tonight, I was truly disheartened in learning the condition my friend is in.
When you’re a fixer, you want to fix, and you feel helpless when there is nothing you can do. Even worse, it pains you when you know how wonderful this person’s life was, and still could be.
We’d had many heart to hearts, yet one evening pains me the most. It was the moment when my friend looked into my eyes, after all he’d been through and the upset he’d caused others, and said: “I can’t promise you, or anyone, that I won’t drink again.” I knew right then, there was nothing anyone could do. Not my first rodeo. He would drink again and tonight, he is in ICU.
It’s suicide prevention month, yet how often do we pay attention to those who are killing themselves slowly each day? Booze, pills, drugs, food, gambling, sex, work?
Never think addiction is a weakness, or a matter of willpower. Some are just chemically wired for addiction. They may not even know it until they find themselves in its grip, unable to set themselves free.
The reality is, we can’t help those who don’t want to help themselves. But we should never give up on them.
If you’re questioning your own vices, take a step back and be honest with yourself. Stop it now before you find yourself fighting for your life – emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
I can speak from personal experience. Addiction is an isolating disease. The longer the addiction, the more you become isolated. No one wants to be told that your best friend (FILL IN THE BLANK) is killing you. So we deny our addiction to ourselves and to others. The disease tries to hide in the closet, unless you are with like minded addicts. The only way that many of us see the light is when a loving family or close friend keeps opening that closet door and letting in some light. It may not be very welcomed at first, but it exposes you to what lengths you will go to, to protect your addiction.
You might leave your family or close friends. Especially if they become too much of an inhibiting block to your addiction. Some homes experience family additions. We have heard of the enablers. They will tell you what you want to hear and help you make excuses for your addictive behaviors.
Addicts’ live in an elevator of ups and downs. Mostly downs. It really depends on what floor you finally decide to get off on, that will show you the depths of despair you were willing to go to, to protect your addiction. I was one of the fortunate ones. But I still only look at my disease as one day at a time. Tragedy can play a big role in ones sobriety. All we need is that one big excuse to pick up, and its back on the merry go round. I believe in the 12 steps. I have found that it works for me and my continued recovery. I see “recovery” as a life long process. I am blessed! I have the love and respect of my wife and children today, all of which could have been lost if I had continued on my path of self destruction. I have seen this disease take countless good people who just could not break the cycle.