How often I’ve seen people post or mention ‘feel the feels’, noting it as some buzz phrase of today, not giving it much thought.
Ironically, I’ve written about feelings – a lot. I’ve touted the importance of acknowledging one’s feelings and allowing yourself to sit a while with them when you find yourself faced with such moments.
I spent years running from my feelings, yet they always caught up with me. I hid them, denied them and quelled them in any way I could – food, drink, work, hobbies.
The difference between then and now is today, I sit with those feelings. I don’t make any attempt to escape them. Many with Psychology Magazine self-awarded honorary degrees believe that my need to work, produce and keep busy is equal to running away from my feelings – quite contraire.
Productivity is essential to life and synonymous to breathing for me. That is who I am – and who I have always been.
There is a difference between distracting oneself with activities and doing what you do best as a means to working through your feelings, emotions and conflicts.
The only times I’ve been miserable was when I stopped participating in life and unconsciously sat on the sidelines – or put all of my energy into a partner, wanting to bring their dreams to life and forgetting myself. How many years I lost doing that!
Relax, they said. You work too hard, they said. Not true. It used to be work hard, play hard, crash and burn when needed. Today it’s work hard, but the play hard activities have transformed into meaningful, constructive and rewarding acts that make the crash and burn much more productive. It’s what I need and what I want. May I never lose sight of that again.
Have I lost my point? Maybe, but I sure hope not. Feeling the feels – here we go.
While working on a customer order this evening, listening to some of my favorite Spotify playlists, those feelings crept up on me like a menopausal hot flash. Out of nowhere, I felt blue for several reasons – lost love, friendships, and those no longer with me.
I chose to keep that door open, and work through it. As I worked and rolled the dough, shaped cute treats and baked away, I did the same in my mind.
And yes – I missed those I miss. I cried for those who are gone. But most importantly, I recognized that these feelings are temporary. I could spend time with them, then let them go.
Feelings are fierce; fickle, fierce and fleeting. I’d equate them to a tornado, gaining speed quickly yet not quite sure what destruction they may cause when they touch down.
If we are honest with ourselves and allow them to settle in, we can and will find a way to work through them if we let ourselves.
They’re not as scary as you think. They won’t destroy you.
They will upset you, distract you and force you to reevaluate a countless number of experiences, relationships and results.
But you’ll be ok. I promise.
Feelings will only overtake you if you give them the power to do so. And the only thing that gives them that power is resistance, fear, and denial.
So, feel the feels.