I’d never try to change you. Or would I?

Read my latest on The Elephant Journal.

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/08/id-never-try-to-change-you-or-would-i/

If you haven’t yet subscribed, The Elephant Journal is all about the mindful life. They are dedicated to sharing the good life beyond the choir, and to all those who didn’t yet know they give a care about living a good, fun life that’s good for others. But mostly it’s about this present moment, right here, right now, and how we can best be of benefit, and have a good time doing so.

Elephant has been around since 2002. They started off as a magazine, but eventually went “green”, unwilling to join all the other magazines in selling only three out of 10, and wasting the rest. So they went online and remained independent because they believe the world needs honesty – and urgently.

To all the men I’ve loved before. A note of gratitude.

Reflecting upon the males who have passed through my life, I feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation. 

A woman flying solo over the age of 50 can sometimes spiral into the depths of self-pity and despair because she has loved and lost – so many times. Often the questions posed to one’s self are – even if never vocalized – what am I doing wrong? Why do I always end up alone? Am I not lovable? Am I difficult? And the onslaught of personal incriminations ensue. We’ve rendered ourselves unworthy witches who don’t deserve love. We’ve looked at all the ways we could have changed or have behaved differently so that he – the many he’s – would have stayed.

Continue reading “To all the men I’ve loved before. A note of gratitude.”

Self-destructive behavior, your check engine light.

As I sat eating my last cracker from the sleeve and contemplating the gelato in the fridge, I wondered what the heck was going on with me. Earlier I had a nice, hot bowl of buttered popcorn and half a box of cereal at some point before that. Again I asked the universe, what the heck was going on with me? I hadn’t binged on food since my 30s and I don’t consider an extra cookie or too much at holidays a binge. That’s just plain old overeating. But a binge is when you can’t get enough and you don’t stop until you feel sick. Then the only thing you can do is crawl into bed and sleep it off, like you would a few too many cocktails, because the purposeful mission of numbing one’s self with food puts you in a trance-like, exhausted physical state.

Continue reading “Self-destructive behavior, your check engine light.”

I’m white. And I’m not apologizing for it.

In full disclosure, I am fearful to post this piece. I’m afraid of the potential backlash, the possible angry comments and having the intent of my message misconstrued. But buried within that fear lies the exact reason why I’m compelled to write this.

Continue reading “I’m white. And I’m not apologizing for it.”